Posted tagged ‘Satire’

Short fiction | Jail or psychiatric treatment for Islamophobes

September 29, 2015

Short fiction | Jail or psychiatric treatment for Islamophobes, Dan Miller’s Blog, September 29, 2015

(The views expressed in this article are mine and do not necessarily reflect those of Warsclerotic or its other editors. — DM)

 

“Islamophobia” is a mental disorder evidenced by an insufficient understanding of Islam as the religion of peace. In the Age of Obama, Congress decreed that Islamophobia is a federal crime. 

A few Republican extremists fought against the decree, but bipartisan majorities of both houses passed the bill. Obama signed it into law. The courts have thus far been lenient, merely sending offenders for psychiatric treatment. When certified as cured, they can be freed. Those who decline treatment are to be jailed indefinitely, as are those who can’t be cured.

Sally Snookums, a cute teenage girl, went for a stroll down Mainstreet. She wore her customary miniskirt and a modest blouse but neglected to wear the now mandatory burka with dark robe.

girl in miniskirt

She was obviously “asking for it” and got raped by a Muslim man who had yet to realize that raping remains an unfortunate anti-Islamic cultural taboo in the town. It was, therefore, her own fault and not his. Besides, when she needs a husband her father or other male relative will find one or her. It’s none of her business.

Despite the incident having been Sally’s fault — she was willfully unfamiliar with Islamic culture — she had the gall to complain to the police. Pursuant to our wonderful new multicultural law, Sally was taken before a Federal Magistrate. He offered her two choices: (1) medical attention plus psychiatric help while confined to an insane asylum to cure her of Islamophobia, or (2) confinement in a Federal prison until she relented. What was Sally to do?

Initially, Sally selected option two. However, within hours she was raped by two prison guards and relented. Her next stop was the insane asylum. There, she learned all about peaceful Islamic culture and its requirement that girls dress like ugly old women to avoid exciting excessive lust in healthy and devout young Muslim males.

old woman in burka

After apologizing to the young Muslim gentleman had quite properly raped her and vowing to go and sin no more, she was freed. Now Sally devotes her copious spare time to studying the Koran, the Hadith and Sharia law. Finally, she is happy just like most Muslim women.

OK, it’s not happening yet in Obama’s America.  However, Germany is “enjoying” a rape epidemic. Can Obama’s America expect something similar?

A growing number of women and young girls housed in refugee shelters in Germany are being raped, sexually assaulted and even forced into prostitution by male asylum seekers, according to German social work organizations with first-hand knowledge of the situation.

Many of the rapes are occurring in mixed-gender shelters, where, due to a lack of space, German authorities are forcing thousands of male and female migrants to share the same sleeping areas and restroom facilities.

Conditions for women and girls at some shelters are so perilous that females are being described as “wild game” fighting off Muslim male predators. But many victims, fearing reprisals, are keeping silent, social workers say. [Emphasis added.]

At the same time, growing numbers of German women in towns and cities across the country are being raped by asylum seekers from Africa, Asia and the Middle East. Many of the crimes are being downplayed by German authorities and the national media, apparently to avoid fueling anti-immigration sentiments. [Emphasis added.]

. . . .

In Bavaria, women and girls housed at a refugee shelter in Bayernkaserne, a former military base in Munich, are subject to rape and forced prostitution on a daily basis, according to women’s rights groups. Although the facility has separate dorm rooms for women, the doors cannot be locked and men control access to the sanitary facilities.

Approximately 80% of the refugees/migrants at the shelter are male, according to Bavarian Broadcasting (Bayerischer Rundfunk), which reports that the price for sex with female asylum seekers is ten euros. A social worker described the facility this way: “We are the biggest brothel in Munich.” [Emphasis added.]

Police insist they have no proof that the rapes are taking place, although a police raid on the facility found that guards hired to provide security at the site were trafficking drugs and weapons and were turning a blind eye to the prostitution.

On August 28, a 22-year-old Eritrean asylum seeker was sentenced to one year and eight months in prison for attempting to rape a 30-year-old Iraqi-Kurdish woman at a refugee shelter in the Bavarian town of Höchstädt. The reduced sentence was thanks to the efforts of the defense attorney, who persuaded the judge that the defendant’s situation at the shelter was hopeless: “For a year now he sits around and thinks about — about nothingness.”

On August 26, a 34-year-old asylum seeker attempted to rape a 34-year-old woman in the laundry room of a refugee facility in Stralsund, a city near the Baltic Sea.

On August 6, police revealed that a 13-year-old Muslim girl was raped by another asylum seeker at a refugee facility in Detmold, a city in west-central Germany. The girl and her mother reportedly fled their homeland to escape a culture of sexual violence; as it turns out, the man who raped the girl is from their country.

Although the rape took place in June, police kept silent about it for nearly three months, until local media published a story about the crime. According to an editorial comment in the newspaper Westfalen-Blatt, police are refusing to go public about crimes involving refugees and migrants because they do not want to give legitimacy to critics of mass migration. [Emphasis added.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdHg9TADZyA

The rapes are just due to misunderstandings.

After Muslim terrorist attacks, we’re told that the killers just “misunderstood” their religion. They misunderstood the peaceful nature of Koranic verses such as “Kill them wherever you find them”, “They should be murdered or crucified or their hands and their feet should be cut off on opposite sides” and “Strike off their heads and strike off every fingertip of them”.  [Emphasis added.]

But the misunderstandings of Islam are just getting started.

Not only are Americans and Europeans being murdered by Muslim terrorists due to these unfortunate misunderstandings, but European girls are being raped because of more misunderstandings.

The principal of Wilhelm-Diess-Gymnasium was concerned about his female students. So he sent a letter warning their parents that the Muslim refugees who had been put up next to the school gym “are marked by their own culture”. And now Germans were being “marked” by their culture. [Emphasis added.]

Girls were told to wear “modest clothing” to avoid “misunderstandings.” But rape isn’t a “misunderstanding.” The only misunderstanding is the politically correct leftist idea that the rapist should be excused on account of his culture and religion. [Emphasis added.]

The Koran states, “O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies that they may thus be distinguished and not molested.”

The obvious implication is that women who aren’t dressed in a Burka may be “molested”.

Or as the commentary states, “It is more likely that this way they may be recognized (as pious, free women), and may not be hurt (considered by mistake as roving slave girls.)”

The Muslim migrants who have invaded Germany just might “misunderstand” and mistake the teen girls going to the gym as “roving slave girls”. And under Islamic law, that’s what they are. Islamic law permits Muslim men to rape even married infidel women in the Dar al-Harb. Let alone unaccompanied girls.

It’s just a cultural thing, so don’t worry.

Dont Worry

 

Obama Suckers

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what you can do for our poor, downtrodden and misunderstood Muslim asylum seekers, yearning to be free to do as their peaceful religion instructs them.

Satire|Special Forces To Change ‘Free The Oppressed’ Motto After Complaints From Afghans Holding Sex Slaves

September 26, 2015

Special Forces To Change ‘Free The Oppressed’ Motto After Complaints From Afghans Holding Sex Slaves, Duffel Blog, Bombsquad, Jack S. McQuack, and Jay-B contributed, September 26, 2015

(This fits right in with Saudi Arabia’s new job in the UN Human Rights Council, except that’s not satire. — DM)

Special operations Soldiers listen to the complaints and stories of Afghan detainees at Farrah, Afghanistan May 27.

Special operations Soldiers listen to the complaints and stories of Afghan detainees at Farrah, Afghanistan May 27.

In addition to the change in motto, the Army band has also been directed to record a new version of the “Ballad of the Green Berets,” which was recorded during the Vietnam War. An initial draft of the lyrics include: “Silver wings upon their chest / These are men, America’s best / One hundred slaves get raped today / But all ignored by the Green Beret.”

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FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Top Army leaders have ordered its elite Special Forces unit to change its motto from the Latin “De Opresso Liber” (To liberate the oppressed) to something that would be more culturally sensitive, after a large number of Afghans holding child sex slaves have complained.

“We want to make sure we are not offending our coalition partners and not judging them based on our own biases,” said Col. Dwight S. Barry, a Pentagon spokesperson. “At the end of the day, we just have to respect that raping young boys and mutilating female genitals is just a part of their culture.”

Started in 1952, Army Special Forces chose its Latin motto of “De Opresso Liber” at a time when the U.S. was heavily focused on freeing people around the world from the chains of Soviet Communism. Now decades later, Army leaders want operators to be more aware of cultural differences they may not understand in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Berkeley, California.

The move comes in the wake of numerous complaints from Afghan men, who have chided U.S. military officials over previous run-ins with Special Forces soldiers unaware of the ancient Afghan custom of “bacha bazi.” The practice, which literally translates to “boy play,” consists of chaining children to beds, taking off their clothes, and then sexually assaulting them until they scream “bingo.”

Anger over U.S. military insensitivity toward “bacha bazi” is not the only issue in which Afghans have raised concern. The use of Special Forces “night raids” on high value targets has aroused suspicion among many locals in the past, and U.S. troops expressing discomfort around opium-addicted Afghan policemen as they throw acid in the faces of young girls has strained coalition partnerships.

In one high-profile incident, two Special Forces soldiers beat up an American-backed militia commander after they had learned he had raped a young boy and beat up his mother, a practice which goes back centuries and is perfectly normal in Afghan society. Fortunately, one of the American soldiers decided to leave the Army after the incident, while the other is being kicked out.

“I thought we were all about liberating the oppressed?” said Bob Samuelson, a former weapons sergeant with Army Special Forces. “How is it right for the Army to kick someone out who was literally trying to do that, and free a young boy from assault?”

The Pentagon just recently learned the motto included a typo for decades, and the actual English translation is “to free the oppressors,” according to a senior defense official.

Officials are currently weighing a number of potential mottos as replacements, which include “Tolerate Iniustitia (Tolerate Injustice)” and “Ad Dissimulare (To Turn a Blind Eye).”

In addition to the change in motto, the Army band has also been directed to record a new version of the “Ballad of the Green Berets,” which was recorded during the Vietnam War. An initial draft of the lyrics include: “Silver wings upon their chest / These are men, America’s best / One hundred slaves get raped today / But all ignored by the Green Beret.”

 

Satire but not funny|Kim Jong-un has replaced John Boehner as Speaker of the House

September 11, 2015

Kim Jong-un has replaced John Boehner as Speaker of the House, Dan Miller’s Blog, September 11, 2015

(The views expressed in this article are mine and do not necessarily reflect those of Warsclerotic or its other editors. — DM)

We have met the enemy and it is us: we have become too tired to be effective and hence are becoming indifferent. The charade on Capitol Hill continues, and not only about the nuke “deal” with Iran. Will the carnival end before it’s too late, or will Obama continue to win?

The House speaker is elected by all House members, not just those of the majority party. He need not be a member of the House. Boehner having resigned because a serious medical condition often reduces him to tears, one group of Democrats nominated Debbie Wasserman-Schultz to replace him. However, due to her support for Hillary Clinton, she fell out of favor with the White House so another group of Democrats nominated Kim Jong-un at Obama’s request. To avoid the appearance of confrontation, Republicans offered no candidates. Kim won by seventeen votes, becoming the first non-US citizen to hold the office thus far this month.

tearsofboehnerDebby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reporting for duty!

REPORTING FOR DUTY!

The current upset was precipitated by Republican members’ disagreements with Boehner and other party leaders about how best to deal with the catastrophic Iran nuke “deal” without unnecessarily offending the President. Kim Jong-un is expected to substitute his own brand of leadership for Boehner’s leadership through ambivalence.

A majority also deemed Kim the best qualified to negotiate with Dear Leader Obama on behalf of the House because, as the undisputed leader of a rogue nuclear nation himself, he should be able to pull not only Obama’s strings but also those of the Supreme Leader of the Islamic Rogue Republic of Iran.

White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest declined comment on the situation beyond refusing to comment on whether Obama met privately with Kim to congratulate him. However, Obama is generally thought to have confirmed that He fully supports Kim’s way of governing his own Democratic Peoples’ Republic and — subject to the few pesky restraints still imposed by an antiquated Constitution that He has not yet found ways to sneak around — He does His best to emulate him. In that connection, Obama asked Kim for recommendations on antiaircraft guns to deal humanely with Jews and other traitors who oppose Him (Please see also, New York Times Launches Congress ‘Jew Tracker’ – Washington Free Beacon.)

Desiring to gain Obama’s total good will, Kim promised to have derogatory cartoons of Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton painted on all future North Korean nukes and missiles just before they explode. In return, Obama promised to issue executive orders granting North Korea the permanent right to declassify any and all U.S. documents it sees fit pertaining to the security of the United States and to obtain copies, gratis, from the Government Printing Office.

House Speaker Kim Jong-un will next meet with Supreme Leader Khamenei in Tehran to make two common sense proposals, with which Khamenei is certain to agree:

First, Kim will propose that a group of highly regarded North Korean nuclear experts — under his personal guidance and supervision — conduct all nuke inspections in Iran and draw all conclusions concerning any past or present Iranian nuclear program based on them exclusively. Those conclusions will be drawn on behalf of, and in lieu of any conclusions drawn by, the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA). The head of the IAEA, Yukiya Amano, immediately endorsed this plan as “splendid and totally consistent with any and all IAEA – Iran “secret deals.”

Second, Kim will propose that Khamenei promise not to nuke anyone until all sanctions have been permanently eliminated, unless he really wants to.

Obama is thought to have agreed with every aspect of the Kim plan and to have directed Secretary Kerry to tell Khamenei that if he agrees all sanctions will be eliminated permanently, via executive decree, and hence even more expeditiously than previously expected. Due to a successful Senate filibuster yesterday, Obama can issue the executive decree very soon; Today — Friday, September 11th — is being considered seriously due to the obvious symbolism of the date.

H/t Freedom is just another word

arming

The inevitable success of Kim’s mission will result in a win-win situation for nearly everyone, particularly the financially strapped IAEA, and the true Peace of Obama will prevail throughout all parts of the world that He considers worth saving. Remember — it’s all for the Children!

veto (1)Mushroom cloud

 

Addendum

하원 의장 김정은 의 문 사랑하는 북미 친구 , 그것은 오바마 대통령 아래에서 당신의 인생 이 곧 Amerika 민주주의 인민 공화국 이 될 것입니다 무엇 에 미래의 삶을 위해 잘 준비 것을 진심으로 희망 합니다. 배리 와 나는 제출 된 것을 기쁘게 사람들을 위해 가능한 한 오랫동안 지배 구조 의 우리의 양식 에 서서히 적응 을 하기 때문에 전환이 원활 하게 하기 위해 함께 열심히하고 고통 일했다 .

Translation:

Statement of House Speaker Kim Jong-un

My dear North American friends, it is my sincere hope that your life under President Obama has prepared you well for your future life in what will soon become the Democratic People’s Republic of Amerika. Barry [a.k.a. Barack] and I have worked long and hard together to acclimate you gradually to our transformed and transformational form of governance and hence to make the transition as smooth and painless as possible for those pleased to submit. Now, we will accelerate the progress.

Conclusions

It does not have to be that way. Here, in closing, are a few words from Daniel Greenfield.

We don’t have to give in to despair. If we do, we are lost. Lost the way that the left is lost. Lost the way that the Muslim world is lost.

We are not savages and feral children. We are the inheritors of a great civilization. It is still ours to lose. It is ours to keep if we understand its truths. [Emphasis added.]

We are not alone. A sense of isolation has been imposed on us as part of a culture war. The task of reconstructing our civilization and ending that isolation begins with our communication. We are the successors of revolutions of ideas. We need to do more than keep them alive. We must refresh them and renew them. And, most importantly, we must practice them.

We are not this culture. We are not our media. We are not our politicians. We are better than that.

We must win, but we must also remember what it is we hope to win. If we forget that, we lose. If we forget that, we will embrace dead end policies that cannot restore hope or bring victory.

What we have now is not a movement because we have not defined what it is we hope to win. We have built reactive movements to stave off despair. We must do better than that. We must not settle for striving to restore some idealized lost world. Instead we must dream big. We must think of the nation we want and of the civilization we want to live in and what it will take to build it.

Our enemies have set out big goals. We must set out bigger ones. We must become more than conservatives. If we remain conservatives, then all we will have is the America we live in now. And even if our children and grandchildren become conservatives, that is the culture and nation they will fight to conserve. We must become revolutionaries.

We must think in terms of the world we want. Not the world we have lost.

This is the America we live in now. But it doesn’t have to be.

It can be up to us, not to those who hate America and all for which she once stood.

John Kerry sings “Stand by Iran” (Capitol Steps Satire)

September 10, 2015

John Kerry sings “Stand by Iran” (Capitol Steps Satire) via You Tube, December 10, 2013

 

(It’s nearly two years old but worth watching again. — DM)

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7M6YvDXQcgQ

Street Posters to Advertise Iran as ‘America’s Newest Ally’ at Trump, Cruz Rally

September 9, 2015

Street Posters to Advertise Iran as ‘America’s Newest Ally’ at Trump, Cruz Rally, Washington Free Beacon, September 9, 2015

unnamed (1)

“For the last decade, Iran was isolated, as everyone agreed that its rhetoric and behavior was dangerous, and beyond the pale for civilized nations. Obama’s deal unravels the conscience of the world,” IranTruth director David Reaboi explained. “For this series, we wanted to remind Americans of what they’re getting with a deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran that strengthens the theocratic regime in Tehran.”

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Posters advertising Iran as “America’s newest ally” will be showcased in Washington, D.C., beginning Wednesday at a rally against the nuclear deal on Capitol Hill that Republican presidential candidates Donald Trump and Ted Cruz are expected to attend.

IranTruth, a project of the Center for Security Policy that is devoted to raising awareness about the dangers of the nuclear deal, is behind the posters.

The advertisements, which emulate vintage mid-20th century travel posters and invite Americans to “visit Iran,” spotlight the country’s crimes against women, homosexuals, and political prisoners. “Participate in a public stoning in beautiful Tehran,” one ad reads over a cartoon of an Iranian woman being stoned to death.

gays hanging out

“For the last decade, Iran was isolated, as everyone agreed that its rhetoric and behavior was dangerous, and beyond the pale for civilized nations. Obama’s deal unravels the conscience of the world,” IranTruth director David Reaboi explained. “For this series, we wanted to remind Americans of what they’re getting with a deal with the Islamic Republic of Iran that strengthens the theocratic regime in Tehran.”

The posters will adorn a large billboard truck in the nation’s capital for several days beginning Wednesday at the anti-deal rally which will be co-hosted by the Center for Security Policy. Sen. Cruz (R., Texas) helped organize the event with the help of Tea Party activists and reportedly invited Trump to attend.

On the same day, Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton will speak in support of the deal.

unnamed-21

The poster campaign comes days before lawmakers make their final decisions on the Iran deal. Congress is expected to vote on the agreement sometime before Sept. 17. President Obama recently garnered enough support for the deal among Senate Democrats to avoid having to veto a resolution rejecting the agreement.

Nevertheless, several prominent Senate Democrats, including Sens. Chuck Schumer (D., N.Y.) and Bob Menendez (D., N.J.) have voiced disapproval of the deal.

Sen. Joe Manchin (D., W.Va.) on Tuesday declared his opposition to the deal, saying that the agreement would endanger American security and help fund terrorism.

Republican lawmakers widely oppose the deal, particularly voicing concerns regarding the inspections of Iran’s nuclear facilities that are governed by secret side deals between Tehran and the United Nations agency tasked with completing them, the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA).

While the Obama administration has couched the deal as the only alternative to military conflict, a council of retired military leaders recently warned that the nuclear deal will increase the likelihood of war.

A majority of American adults want Congress to reject the agreement, recent CNN/ORC polling found.

unnamed3

 

Satire | North Korea announces bold new peace plan

August 16, 2015

North Korea announces bold new peace plan, Dan Miller’s Blog, August 16, 2015

The views expressed in this article are those of my fictitious guest author and do not necessarily reflect mine, those of Warsclerotic or its other editors. — DM)

Editor’s note: This is a guest post by Kim Wu-hu, the highly respected director of North Korea’s Ministry of Everlasting Truth. She is variously believed to be Kim Jong-un’s sister or illegitimate daughter.

old korean woman

Kim Jong-un (also known as Kim Chi-un), the universally beloved Dear Leader of the Democratic Peoples’ Republic of Korea, today announced a bold new plan for peace with the illegitimate regime known as the Republic of Korea. It was met with tremendous joy and relief worldwide. Millions gathered in Pyongyang to celebrate, as even the leader of the rogue regime known as Obama’s America held a televised press briefing to praise Kim’s brilliant plan. 

Kim's hair

Dear Leader Kim’s plan is radical only in its overwhelming simplicity and has just two parts:

1. The illegitimate criminal regime known as the Republic of Korea (“ROK”), which unlawfuly occupies a southern province of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea (“DPRK”), will disarm immediately and turn over all of its weapons to the DPRK for safekeeping. Neutral international inspectors from the DPRK and Iran will travel to the ROK in one week to verify the ROK’s compliance. Should the ROK be found not to have complied, the DPRK and its ally Iran will make merciless war on it to force its voluntary compliance.

2. At least seventy-five percent of all males over the age of ten years living in the DPRK’s southern province under the rogue ROK regime will adopt Kim’s hairstyle and, within one month, present themselves to international inspectors who will determine whether they have complied in a satisfactory manner. The DPRK will provide suitable antiaircraft equipment to deal humanely with any who have not.

Many nations, even those which — for unknown and inexplicable reasons — have previously considered the DPRK less than trustworthy, responded enthusiastically. Even Obama, leader of the illegitimate regime known as Obama’s America, promptly held a televised press briefing. He announced that, in a show of solidarity with the DPRK, He will promptly (a) adopt Dear Leader Kim’s hairstyle, (b) issue executive decrees requiring all U.S. and allied military personnel to do the same and (c) seek to disarm His own rogue regime under terms similar to those graciously offered to the ROK. Suitable terms of American surrender to Russia, China and Iran will also be sought.

Obama expressed sincere regret that Republican warmongers will oppose His historic peace efforts for partisan purposes. He also noted that they are racists (as all opposition to Him clearly shows) and are therefore alligned with the apartheid Jewish regime that still occupies Palestine despite His vigorous efforts to impose a two state solution. He stated that their treasonous opposition will not matter, because He will accomplish everything He desires through Executive Decrees.

Here is a photo of Obama showing off His new hairstyle. (A wig was needed because His hair will take time to grow to the necessary length.)

Obama hair

During the press conference Obama also announced the immediate withdrawl of all U.S. military forces from the ROK and termination of planned joint military exercises there to prevent brutal attacks by the DPRK on the ROK and, indeed, on His own illegitimate province. He proudly proclaimed, again, that peace and negotiation are always better than war and stated that His Secretary of State, John Kerry, had already left for Pyongyang, Tehran, Moscow and Beijing to meet with his counterparts.

Kerry begins his journey

Kerry begins his journey

Immediately following Obama’s press briefing, and in lieu of a question and answer period, the reporters broke out spontaneously in song to praise Obama.

Kerry, fresh from his Herculean successes in negotiating the surrender of Obama’s America (as well as the rogue Jewish regime occupying Palestine) to Iran, expects to face difficulties in negotiating the terms of surrender to the DPRK, China and Russia. Iran will not be a problem, Kerry stated proudly but humbly, because his diplomatic skills are well known there and he is highly respected because of them.

Kerry nuanced

The science is settled and can no longer be disputed. A brave new world awaits. We have only our chains to lose and true world peace and prosperity to gain. We must thrust ever onward and upward together until we finally achieve all of the changes we have been waiting for!

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Editor’s comment

Due to limits on North Korea’s internet, Kim Wu-hu was unable to provide suitable graphics. I provided them for her.

Rant | Obama continues to fix the Creator’s worst mistakes

August 2, 2015

Rant | Obama continues to fix the Creator’s worst mistakes, Dan Miller’s Blog, August 2, 2015

(The views expressed in this rant — some of which are off-topic — are mine and do not necessarily reflect those of Warsclerotic or its other editors. — DM)

This is a partially updated version of Fixing the Creator’s worst mistakes, published on December 29, 2012. It deals mainly with Islam, Iran, the nuke “deal,” illegal immigration and Obama’s usurpation of power. 

Islam and other religions

Obama is “our” Imam in Chief and in that capacity continues to preach that Islam is the religion of peace; there is neither Islamic violence nor any Islamic desire for it. Since the Islamic State is violent it is not Islamic.

Coptic Christians beheaded

Coptic Christians beheaded. So what? They weren’t other Muslims.

Christians and Jews? Islamists are intent upon removing what they consider the curses of Christianity and Judaism. Pope Francis appears to be far more concerned about Climate Change; so does Obama.

In Obama’s apparent view, Palestinians want the true peace of Islam. They abhor violence and want nothing more than to live in peace and harmony in Israel with their Jewish friends and neighbors. Their only obstacles are those senselessly thrown in their path by wicked, apartheid Israel at every turn.

That’s a lie.

The nuke “deal” with Iran

Since the Islamic Republic of Iran is also peaceful, it is Islamic and hence deserves nukes (which it claims neither to have nor to want) along with increased funding to support its hegemonic efforts to bring “stability” to the Middle East with the help of its many proxies.

It's not MY fault.

It’s not MY fault.

Here's more ObamaMoney. Have fun!

Here’s lots more ObamaMoney. Have fun with your virgins!

Obama conceals critical details of His Iran “deal” from members of Congress and from the people, while sending His minions forth to obfuscate and lie about it. Even Iran now claims that the Obama administration has been lying about the “deal.”

“Any time, anywhere” inspections to discover the “possible military dimensions” of Iran’s nuclear program are a farce and have been at least since November of 2013. We were recently advised that under one or more side deals between the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) and Iran, the IAEA will neither inspect sites such as the Parchin military facility nor collect samples there; Iran will collect the samples and provide them (or perhaps samples taken elsewhere) to the IAEA.

Why is Obama doing this? Mr. Fleitz, the interviewee in the above video, suggests that Obama sees Iran as having been too long victimized by the West and in need of freedom from Western oppression.

Illegal immigration

Obama’s fundamental transformation of America in His image continues to accelerate. Illegal immigrants are already overwhelming the country and He demands more of them.

to follow the Constitution.  It's to old and too slow.

to screw America even more

Run-for-the-border-edition-copy

I am the greatest expert on the Declaration of Dependence

I am the greatest expert on the Declaration of Dependence

All power to the People Obama

Obama has also accelerated Congress’ partially self-imposed rush to impotence. States’ rights have become a sad joke and the United Nations has become even more powerful, wrongheaded and intrusive. Our military is more focused on climate change and “social justice” than on fighting our worst enemy, which cannot even be named.

Obama talks strategy with His chief military advisor

Obama confers with His chief military adviser

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

By His Supreme Excellency, Barack Humble Hussein Obama

Obama Banard College REV

The first paragraph of the Declaration of Dependence refers to “Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God.” However, according to the second paragraph of the Declaration,

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. (Emphasis added.)

This raises what some may see as an important question: just who is that Creator fella, anyway? Is it Nature, Nature’s God or its earthly manifestation, Government? We need not answer directly due to the partisan overtones of the question. Suffice it to say that fairness and justice dictate that the Government over which I rule — as I had long been destined to do — has an obligation to correct the worst error of judgment and implementation made by that fella, whomever it may be. By correcting that error, I intend no disrespect to it or to anyone else. With few exceptions, everyone makes mistakes and when they are made it is My duty as your President to correct them.

Are all men are created equal?

No they are not, and it is the job of My Government to transform the nation, as I deem appropriate, to make everyone as nearly equal as is feasible consistent with providing the best governance possible. That is a daunting task, but since I won two presidential elections overwhelmingly I have a mandate to do it. I can and shall do it, so help Me — Allah everyone! You have nothing to lose but the chains in which you have long been unfairly bound by unnecessary and unjust freedoms.

Our Black and Brown Brothers and Sisters, whether from My America or from Mexico and elsewhere in Latin America, no less than invaders immigrants from Islamic nations, deserve to come to a truly welcoming America. Travel and resettlement are costly for them and they deserve the very best subsidies I can provide to afford them the leisure they want and hence deserve. That will enable them to evaluate all political candidates and to decide who will best serve My their interests.  To that end, My Executive Decree is now being written to require that all promotional materials of a political nature be in Ebonics and Spanish as well as in all languages spoken or written in all Islamic nations unless I decree that it is not necessary for specific candidates whom I favor.

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As the nation’s highest constitutional authority and scholar, I am uniquely qualified to interpret and otherwise ignore both the Constitution and the Declaration of Dependence. Both were written and adopted by White Male slaveholders, now despised by all good people.

Clearly, the statement that “all men are created equal” does not mean — as some have mistakenly claimed — equal before the law. Although the most humble of all men, I am so far above the law that I often have difficulty seeing it down below. The same is true in far lesser degree of accredited diplomats and many more. Others, such as those who maliciously oppose My sovereign will, are far beneath the law. No, equality does not mean “equal before the law.” It means equal in every respect except that. At least that’s what it should mean and it is My sworn duty to make it so. There cannot possibility be true equality without vigorous enforcement of My Decrees, to be promulgated now and in the future, mandating equality of both opportunity and result in all things.

Since it is my job to interpret and enforce our laws selectively I must also create those laws. That will be far more efficient.

An Executive Decree is now being drafted for My review, revision and signature. It will set forth the measures that are necessary to achieve our nation’s greatest dream — nay, her manifest destiny — of true equality for all. Very briefly, its directives will include the following:

1. Members of the Congress shall have no higher status or greater legislative authority than the poorest, lowest, most despised and least educated person in My nation — perhaps an illiterate, twelve year old, homeless transsexual drug abuser from Haiti. Hence, My Executive Decree shall declare the Congress in recess until truly representative members have been elected under Federal supervision to replace the elite obstructionists currently there.

In the meantime, I have my phone and veto pen ready.

veto (1)

2. During the congressional recess I shall, as your President, assume with great reluctance all legislative burdens which I have not already assumed. My people shall no longer be subjected to interminable partisan squabbles over such incomprehensible trivia as national debt limits, Federal budgets, tax fairness or anything else. The fruits of peace, love, joy and tranquility shall come to be enjoyed by all throughout My entire land.

3. Due to the peaceful outpourings of racial justice, tranquility, peace, love and joy due to My successful efforts to eliminate the scourge of White racism, there shall no longer be any excuse for privately owned Weapons of Mindless Destruction (WMDs). Hence, all shall be confiscated immediately and disposed of pursuant to Executive Decree.

4. All uniformed personnel of the armed forces shall have the same rank, pay and allowances. Staff Sergeant shall henceforth be the only military rank and all shall henceforth receive pay and allowances commensurate with that rank. The focus of all of My defense efforts will continue to be on social justice and the horrors of Climate Change. Accordingly, military personnel shall be given access to firearms only when called upon to enforce My Climate Change rules.

5. The gross unfairness of wealth maldistribution in the United States is unconscionable and that disgrace to humanity is compounded not only by an incomprehensible Internal Revenue Code but also by lengthy and even more incomprehensible IRS regulations. Accordingly, I shall decree a new and greatly simplified single tax rate of one hundred percent on all property and all earnings from any and all sources, with no deductions or credits. I shall also issue a new Revenue and Property Redistribution Decree granting $25,000 per person per year in cash as well as providing for the fair and just redistribution of all property confiscated in lieu of property tax payments. Since the unreasonably disparaged welfare safety net will no longer be needed it will be abolished.

6. Recognizing that My simplified tax plan may hamper states and other inferior governments in accessing revenues, all states and their subdivisions shall be abolished and the United States shall be divided into ten Federal Districts, to be governed by My appointed District Governors.

Conclusions

My simple, eminently fair and absolutely just decrees will transform My entire nation into a far better place for all of My people.

ObamaGod

Islam absolutely must be recognized as the world’s preeminently peaceful religion; Christians, Jews and others must recognize this and accept the true enlightenment provided by the Holy Koran. If a few Jews or Christians are killed by Muslims who are ignorant of true Islamic teachings, that is far, far less hurtful to My people than the ravages of Climate Change. I believe that Pope Francis agrees with Me on this point.

Obama My work here is done

As the monumental successes of My initiatives become clear throughout the world, I am confident that the United Nations will issue similar decrees for all nations, perhaps uniting some in UN protectorates to be governed in the fair and just ways of which the UN has over the years shown itself to be uniquely capable. The UN bows to no legitimate state or even to illegitimate states such as as Israel. Indeed, I am so confident that these wonders will come to pass that I have today notified the Secretary General that, when My work here is done, I shall give My service as his replacement higher priority than even My obligations to My own dear family.

Permit Me to commend those brave young people for their courage and superb intelligence in standing up for the highest, the best and brightest in our nation.

In closing, here’s another of my favorite songs. I hope you will enjoy it too:

Satire | Watch out Kim, your nukes are next!

July 27, 2015

Watch out Kim, your nukes are next! Dan Miller’s Blog, July 27, 2015

 

(The views expressed in this article are mine and do not necessarily reflect those of Warsclerotic or its other editors. — DM)

Having been thoroughly schooled by Iran during the P5+1 nuke negotiations on the necessity for flexibility, the Obama Administration is now even better prepared to take on the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

Kim Jong-un learns of U.S.  plans to negotiate

Kim learns of U.S. plans

As North Korea and more recently Iran proved, sanctions are feeble devices for getting rogue nations to eliminate their nuclear weapons programs. Possibly effective in bringing such nations to the bargaining table, they tend to collapse as the negotiators come to understand the benefits their nations would realize by their elimination (the sanctions, not necessarily their nations).

According to a July 26th Washington Post article titled U.S. planning to press harder against North Korea on human rights,

After the Obama administration’s groundbreaking nuclear deal with Iran, there have been calls to replicate that pact with North Korea, a rogue state that already has nuclear-weapons capability.

From Washington to Beijing, analysts and policymakers have been talking about the agreement as a possible “blueprint” for negotiations with Pyongyang. [Emphasis added.]

But Kim Jong Un’s regime has made it clear that it expects to be accepted as a nuclear power — saying this month it is “not interested” in an Iran-style deal. The Obama administration is instead focusing on human rights to further isolate North Korea, encouraged by the outbursts this approach has elicited from Kim’s stubbornly recalcitrant regime — apparently because the accusations cast aspersions at the leader and his legitimacy. [Emphasis added.]

“There is a growing assumption that the North Koreans are not going to surrender their nukes,” Andrei Lankov, a North Korea expert based in Seoul, said after recent meetings with officials in Washington. Human rights are Washington’s “next political infatuation,” he said.

The linked article also notes,

Pyongyang this month denounced the United States for “escalating” its anti-North Korea campaign after Sung Kim, the U.S. special representative for North Korea policy said at a public forum that “pressure is a very critical part of our approach to dealing with North Korea.”

The North’s state-run Korean Central News Agency reported afterward that pressure “being persistently increased” would simply “harden” North Korea’s “will to take tough counter-action against” the United States.

North Korean representatives have been notably responsive at the United Nations to criticism of the country’s human rights record and of the leadership in particular, staging a number of protests at forums in New York. [Emphasis added.]

North Korea’s increased responsiveness shows that nuke negotiations with it may well be even more successful than were those with Iran, giving Dear Leader Obama an even greater giant leap forward in His pursuit of foreign policy legacies.

Engagement with North Korea is becoming increasingly necessary. It has recently been reported that

the North has recently upgraded a missile platform and may be readying to launch a long-range missile around the time of a national anniversary in October.

In addition, North Korea is building a new high explosives assembly facility at its main Yongbyon nuclear complex. North Korea will probably use such explosives internally only for peaceful purposes, while (although not suggested by the linked article) preparing them for shipment elsewhere. Perhaps they may be sold to Iran and sent via diplomatic pouch to ensure safety.

Iran persuaded Washington, once “infatuated” with the “possible military dimensions” of Iran’s nuclear program, that Iran itself should probe those dimensions, turn the results of its investigations over to the indefatigable UN watchdog (the International Atomic Energy Agency, a.k.a. “IAEA”) and thereby negate all suspicions. Following that precedent, North Korea should itself investigate whether there are bases for allegations of its human rights violations. It should then, in no less timely fashion, turn any relevant information it finds over to the appropriate UN agency — perhaps the Security Council, where all permanent members, including stellar human rights advocates Russia and China, have vetoes.

Despite the brilliance of its handling of the Iranian nuke program — and the equal if not even greater brilliance of the plan to proceed with North Korea — unsubstantiated rumors will be spread by warmongering hawks such as those who continue to challenge Obama’s great victory over Iran. For example, it may be claimed that any DPRK officials who provide evidence of human rights violations will be executed by hungry dogs starved for the purpose.

That is nonsense. Most of the dogs in North Korea are already starving. The over-inflated egos of any DPRK officials that cause them to blather irresponsibly about such things would simply be deflated by defensive antiaircraft weapons such as recently used on Defense Minister Hyon Yong Chol. It’s the humane way to deal with those guilty of “disloyalty and showing disrespect to dictator Kim Jong Un.” It would, in fact, be sufficient evidence of North Korea’s respect for human rights (comparable Iran’s) to terminate any further inquiry immediately.

If, as Obama claims, “99% of world” likes the Iran “deal,” at least 200% will love a deal with North Korea under which it demonstrates its respect for human rights while promising not to use its nukes on any nation unless it wants to because Dear Leader Kim is upset. The trade potentials are equally mind-boggling and the deal will be no less a win-win situation for everyone than the “deal” with Iran!

And we will do just as well with North Korea!

And we will do the same with North Korea!

Satire: Become an Islamist and save the Earth. Or else.

September 26, 2014

Become an Islamist and save the Earth. Or else, Dan Miller’s Blog, September 25, 2014

This is a guest post by Imam Mohamed al-Jihadi, a friend of (my also imaginary) friend Senator Ima Librul (L., Utopia, the Unicorn State). Imam Al-Jihadi is a renowned Islamic scholar and author of “The Real Dreams of My Real Father,” soon to be published by the Religion of Peace Publishing Company. After explaining the truth about Islam, Imam al-Jihadi tells us how to please Allah by combating climate change.

Imam Mohamed Al-Jihadi

Imam Mohamed Al-Jihadi

A message of true peace through submission to the Most Holy will of Allah the all merciful:

In the name of Allah the all merciful, may the peace of submission be upon you whether you believe that you desire it or not, إن شاء الله‎. As even Imperialist Obama has told you repeatedly, Islam is the religion of peace and abhors all violence. True, we engage in some peaceful efforts on behalf of Holy Islam — wrongly called “violence” by unbelievers and apostates — but only to seek the submission of unbelievers and apostates to the One True God, Allah, may His Holy Name be praised and may His blessings be upon all who submit willingly to His righteous commands. Any who refuse to do so shall be dealt with as Allah directs, إن شاء الله‎.

If you hope to be saved, first become politically correct. That will propel you along the righteous path of adherence to Allah’s Holy Word with proper devotion, submission and humility. Cease, therefore, your evil disparagement of the Religion of Peace Through Submission and also your futile efforts to fight hopeless battles against us. Rise up as one to battle the worst crisis ever, the climate change demon.

Climate change demon

Climate change demon

Even the American Imperialist in Chief, Obama, has often commanded you to defeat the greatest demon of all, as he did again on September 24th during his remarks at the United Nations. The horrors of climate change are the product of the Obama Nation’s rejection of Allah the all-mighty and all-merciful, the one and only green God. The Obama Nation must change, radically, its wicked ways and join wholeheartedly with the righteous defenders of Allah’s Earth. Many photos of useful idiots those in California who are trying to do so are at the link. Here’s a video of remarks by one of them:

Do not, however, be misled by her fantasies about Communism, an evil religion because it spurns the Holy teachings of The Prophet Mohamed. Although she did speak semi-truthfully about Capitalism, it is no less evil than Communism because it also is un-Islamic and engages in numerous violations of Allah’s Holy Sharia law. It must and shall be abolished, إن شاء الله‎.

As to oil, there is ample environmentally friendly oil in Islamist countries and it must be used — exclusively — to support Holy Islam. Those who use oil from elsewhere, and of course coal, scornfully defy the will of Allah and must be dealt with as are other unbelievers and apostates who stubbornly reject His commands. Allah orders it.

As you, our inferiors, begin to accept Allah’s commands others will learn from and come to follow even you — not to a world based on false Capitalist or Communist doctrine but to an Islamist world where truth, mercy and justice reign supreme. It is written. All un-believers and apostates who reject this wise counsel must, and therefore shall, be punished severely now and in the hereafter, إن شاء الله‎. As we have preyed prayed, the Mahdi will soon come. Beware.

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When you instead submit totally to Allah, virgins anxious to please you in every way will greet you as you go to meet Him. Here is a picture of only one of the many anxiously awaiting you.

I await you. Please come soon!

I await you. Please come soon!

Editor’s comments

I  was privileged to select the graphics to be associated with Imam al-Jihadi’s presentation and hope that he will find them pleasing unto Allah.

There is no truth to any rumor that Imam al-Jihadi has been placed in charge of the Obama Nation’s Department of Homeland Security, Environmental Protection Agency, Department of Justice or all of them. It would make little difference. However, if and when he is appointed, and if and when the Mahdi arrives, updates may be posted.

UPDATE:

Oh well.

UPDATE:

An article by Bryan Preston at PJ Tatler is titled Is the US Waging ‘Green War’ In Syria?

If we are avoiding destroying ISIS’ oil-basket, it would represent a decisive break from US strategy in previous wars. In both world wars, Vietnam and to a lesser extent in the two wars in Iraq, US forces targeted infrastructure in order to cripple the enemy’s economy. We bombed everything from highways to railways to power grids and fuel refineries and depots, to break the enemy’s ability to wage war. The more we focused on disrupting the enemy’s economy, the more damage we did to the enemy’s ability to wage war against us.

If we are going green in Syria, Imam Mohamed al-Jihadi will doubtless approve.

Semi-satire: King Obama and Sheikh Kerry welcome Ramadan

June 29, 2014

King Obama and Islam are similar religious movements and both are changing our lives greatly. Both demand that we respect the diversity they have graciously given us. Thank you, Islam and Your Highness.

Iran hangings by crane

Diversity in The Peoples Democratic
Islamic Republic of Iran

During King Obama’s Cairo speech in 2009 He said:

I have come here to seek a new beginning between the United States and Muslims around the world; one based upon mutual interest and mutual respect; and one based upon the truth that America and Islam are not exclusive, and need not be in competition. Instead, they overlap, and share common principles – principles of justice and progress; tolerance and the dignity of all human beings. [Emphasis added.]

Do Obama’s America and The Religion of Peace share common Sharia principles of justice, progress, tolerance and human dignity? Islam hasn’t changed much recently. How about Obama’s America?

I consider it part of my responsibility as President of the United States to fight against negative stereotypes of Islam wherever they appear. [Emphasis added.]

At least some people in Texas are not pleased with Islamic demands that they change their lifestyles or leave. Are they indulging in negative stereotypes or negative realities? Tip of the hat to Dancing Czars.

Here He goes again:

Obama KingOn June 27th, King Obama and His loyal Sheikh

Ketchup KerryKerry helped Islamists around the world to celebrate the holy fast of Ramadan, which began on June 28th and will extend through July 28th. According to The Economic Times, King Obama said,

Here in the US, we are grateful to the many Muslim American organizations, individuals, and businesses that are devoted to creating opportunity for all by working to reduce income inequality and poverty, not only through their charitable efforts, but also through their initiatives to empower students, workers and families with the education, skills and health care they deserve.

Although He seems to have neglected their inspirational efforts in beheading climate change monsters and others, it was only a minor omission. Dignity, justice, progress and  tolerance? Even He could not have had much favorable to say about that. Or could He? Didn’t He do that in His Cairo speech?

In addition to enviable Islamic charities, Sheikh Kerry also alluded to the much needed diversity and spirit of community “that binds us together” which Islam brings to Obama’s America:

Here in America, Muslims will commemorate Ramadan in ways that reflect the great diversity of our country and the spirit of community that binds us together,” he said.

“The diversity and patriotism of America’s religious communities are sources of strength for all of us, and our freedom to worship is a powerful reminder of the traditions we share.

Eternal blessings be upon them both, Insha’Allah.

In keeping with the views of the Commander in Chief, Stars and Stripes reported that U.S. personnel at the military base in Bahrain are being taught to show proper respect for the Religion of Peace.

Navy officials are requiring U.S. personnel to dress more conservatively off-base during Ramadan. Although not a requirement by Bahraini authorities, the Navy is demanding that men wear long-sleeved shirts and women wear sleeved blouses that cover their elbows. Also, men must wear long trousers, and women should wear pants or skirts that cover the knees. [Emphasis added.]

Base cultural advisers have spent the last few weeks conducting Ramadan briefs to educate Americans about the holy month. Ali Hassan briefed about 150 personnel Tuesday about Islam, the lunar calendar and customs and traditions during Ramadan. [Emphasis added.]

“It actually made me want to do a lot more research into the religion,” said Petty Officer 1st Class James Ramirez. He said the additional requirements during the month aren’t a big deal to him. “For such a small period of time, it’s a small sacrifice,” he said.

Other service members echoed that sentiment.

Hassan encouraged personnel to experience Iftar in a Ramadan tent, many of which are set up at various locations around Bahrain during the holy month and welcome non-Muslims. [Emphasis added.]

“Make it a point to visit these tents while you’re here. You don’t know if you’ll ever come back to Bahrain in the future,” Hassan said during the brief.

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Unlike Islamic indoctrination, handing out Bibles and Christian proselytizing seem to be considered improper. In addition, “All consumption of alcohol by U.S. military personnel is prohibited at any off base public venue in the U.S. Navy 5th Fleet Area of Responsibility during Ramadan.” On base, perhaps some will hoist a few in honor of their King. Or something.

Will Bahrain, with a “dismal” human rights record past and present, give up torture for Ramadan? Or will U.S. personnel stationed there be told how to respect that along with other glories of the “religion of peace?” Will lessons be given in Islamic torture, beheading and crucifixion protocols?

There has been no word whether videos such as this will be offered in the interest of blessed diversity:

King Obama will continue to demonstrate comparable respect for other religions, Insha’Allah. 

King Obama will doubtless issue greetings to Christians at the beginning of Lent and His generals will likely require all military personnel stationed in Christian countries to show proper respect for Christian fasting. Since the only remaining Christian country is Vatican City, where no U.S. military personnel are stationed, such requirements will not be unduly onerous. Although there might have been similar directives to respect Jewish fast days, the recent freezing chilling of diplomatic ties with the World’s only Jewish state, Israel, as well as the few if any U.S. military personnel stationed there, may also have kept them from being unduly onerous. Should any U.S. military personnel be stationed in Haiti, they will doubtless be required to respect any Voodoo fast days as well as days for biting off the heads of live chickens in accordance with the dictates of that great religion, which has also brought much needed diversity to King Obama’s America.

chicken