WarSclerotic

A handy guide for progressives trying to choose between Russia and Turkey, Front Page Magazine, Daniel Greenfield, November 24, 2015

Hello progressives,

This morning you’re probably wondering why there’s something about Turkey shooting down a Russian plane in the news. Why is this story taking up valuable space in your news feed and taking away time from reading about how stupid Donald Trump and Ben Carson are, or how yoga is cultural genocide or how oppressed Yale students are? And didn’t Obama already fix the Syrian Civil War with a hashtag?

You’re probably worrying over which side is the progressive one in the Turkey-Russia spat. So I’ve written this helpful guide just for you.

1. Progressive rating

Russia – Ex-Communist dictatorship run by KGB operatives like Putin and has jails full of political prisoners.

Turkey – Islamist dictatorship run by “moderate” Islamists like Erdogan with jails full of political prisoners.

So both Russia and Turkey are both pretty progressive. But since Islam is now officially at the top of the victim list, Turkey is more progressive.

2. Gay rights

Putin – Anti-Gay

Erdogan – “Their biggest ally is Doğan Media. The Armenian lobby, homosexuals” – Anti-Gay and Anti-Armenian

Split decision?

3. Socialist

Erdogan – “Let’s earn a little less than you currently do. Share your wealth with the low-income group.”

Putin – “Income inequality is unacceptable, outrageous.”

Can’t we get Bernie Sanders to replace them both?

4. Abortion

Erdogan – Abortion is murder and a plot against Turkey

Putin – Abortion is murder and a plot against Russia

5. Islam

Putin – “Some scholars of (Eastern) Christianity say it is much closer to Islam”

Erdogan – “The mosques are our barracks, the domes our helmets, the minarets our bayonets and the faithful our soldiers”

6. Racism

Erdogan – “Kilicdaroglu is striving every bit he can to raise himself from the level of a black person to the level of a white man.”

Putin – “What?”

7. The Kardashians

Putin – In favor

Erdogan – “In my country there are 170,000 Armenians. Seventy thousand of them are citizens. We tolerate 100,000 more. So, what am I going to do tomorrow? If necessary I will tell the 100,000: OK, time to go back to your country.”

There you have it. Now you can decide which side to cheer for and which side to hate based on all the compelling issues that progressives care about.