Archive for the ‘Humor’ category

Humor | Duty NCO praised for ‘meticulous logbook’ following mass shooting

August 8, 2016

Duty NCO praised for ‘meticulous logbook’ following mass shooting, Duffel Blog, , August 8, 2016

duty NCO

CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Marine Corps leaders are reportedly still in shock over a Barracks Duty Noncommissioned Officer’s impressive logbook entries during yesterday’s tragic mass-shooting at a Marine barracks aboard Camp Lejeune.

The Marine Corps identified Cpl. Peter Sewell, a 3051 Warehouse Clerk from Springfield, MA, as the “heroic” Barrracks Duty.

Maj. Gary McDougall, a spokesman for Camp Lejeune, said, “Cpl. Sewell had been posted on duty since 7 a.m. for what looked like another routine tour of sweeping and mopping the floor, as well as kicking the odd stripper out of the barracks.”

According to Sewell’s logbook entries, at precisely 1702 hours an unidentified person arrived and began to open fire at Marines in the barracks smoke pit, immediately followed by an entry noting the smoke pit not been properly police-called.

McDougall praised Sewell’s quick and immediate thinking.

“Cpl. Sewell displayed all the training and initiative we expect from our Barracks Duty NCO’s,” McDougall told reporters. “As soon as the shooting began, he sprinted over to the gunman to demand his ID card and sign him into the visitors log.”

Sewell was eventually found by paramedics, clutching his logbook while managing to keep it free from any blood stains. Paramedics confirmed that he refused medical treatment until all emergency personnel were properly signed in.

During the entire incident, the Officer of the Day was at the chow hall, where it was reported the food was of sufficient quality and quantity.

McDougall notes, “Thanks to Sewell’s meticulous attention to detail, investigators have an extremely accurate picture of the incident, from the moment the shooting began to the dust bunnies Sewell noticed on the floor after diving under the desk.”

Base officials have also praised Sewell’s company gunnery sergeant for his quick response in getting Marines on line to police brass at the crime scene as well as confiscating a 12-pack of beer from a nearby private.

“The whole team really came together during this crisis,” said McDougall. “We wouldn’t have wanted any of the emergency services personnel to think our unit lived in a shit house.”

McDougall said the shooter remains at-large after a base wide manhunt by the Provost Marshall Office had not located the shooter, but confirmed the duty desk’s lack of electronic media devices and presence of books from the Commandant’s reading list, both of which were integral to Sewell’s ability to accurately record the event.

He also showed reporters Sewell’s professional handwriting in all caps, such as his entry at 17:14 when he logged, “DUTY NCO OFF DECK. PLEASE GOD I DON’T WANT TO DIE.”

Unit leaders have said they plan to decorate Sewell with a Navy Achievement Medal for heroism, although not until he completes a missing gear statement for his duty belt, which disappeared during the incident.

As of press time, Sewell was unavailable for comment, as he continued to hobble around his post on crutches in a military manner and had still not been properly relieved.

Duffel Blog Investigative Reporter Lee Ho Fuk also contributed to this report.

RUSH: Obama’s Statement On Presidential Fitness – HILARIOUS PARODY

August 6, 2016

RUSH: Obama’s Statement On Presidential Fitness – HILARIOUS PARODY via YouTube, August 5, 2016

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ_Lzh8LTPc

Cartoons of the Day

August 6, 2016

H/t Town Hall

gimmee OK

 

H/t The Conservative Treehouse

Iran-Cash-600-CI

 

H/t Power Line

Hillary-Wall-Street-copy

 

Islam-Doubletalk-copy

 

Home-Early-copy

 

Iran-Ransom-copy

 

Undocumented-Felon-copy

Cartoons of the Day

August 5, 2016

H/t Freedom is Just Another Word

President Obama said that Donald Trump is "unfit" to serve as President.

President Obama said that Donald Trump is “unfit” to serve as President.

 

safer

 

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

death-care

Cartoons of the Day

August 1, 2016

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

criminal

 

H/t Freedom is Just Another Word

hil media

 

vagina

 

Humor |Navy to build USS Thanks Obama for deployment to every disaster

August 1, 2016

Navy to build USS Thanks Obama for deployment to every disaster, Duffel Blog, August 1, 2016

USS Obama

WASHINGTON — The Navy announced today it would build and commission the USS Thanks Obama, a new frigate that will be used solely for rapid deployment to disasters around the world.

“We want to honor our president and thank him for all his hard work,” said Navy Secretary Ray Mabus. “While at the same time, fielding a ship that is more than capable of deploying to hotspots he has sternly tweeted about.”

The planned ship will be an updated design of the Littoral Combat Ship — which many view as one of the best ships in the Navy — though it will have integrated solar panels as its main power source. The USS Thanks Obama will also be put on the water long before its ready and will be billions over budget, in keeping with both Obama administration and Navy tradition.

The Thanks Obama will also have a more modern galley filled with vegan options, a gym that plays “Let’s Move” videos on repeat, and a medical facility with state-of-the-art waiting rooms.

Mabus also said it would be the first ship equipped with a magazine of six auxiliary captains onboard, for rapid firing and replacement.

 

Cartoons of the Day

July 30, 2016

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

chump change

 

finish the job

 

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

msm1

 

H/t Power Line

emails

 

change

 

more change

 

feel the bern

 

hate crime

 

Cartoons of the Day

July 29, 2016

Via Hope n’ Change

tell vlad

 

more better

 

If you never saw the movie "Aliens," don't even TRY to get this joke.

If you never saw the movie “Aliens,” don’t even TRY to get this joke.

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

hillarys-peasants

 

H/t Cry and Howl

first gent

 

Cartoons of the Day

July 27, 2016

via Washinton Examiner e-mail

wash examiner

 

H/t Power Line

Hillary-Shining-copy

 

hillary wasserman

 

waren naziLook: Fauxchahontas plagiarizing Laura Ingraham.

 

rnc dnc

Cartoons of the Day

July 26, 2016

H/t Town Hall

nazis

 

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

clinton 2016

 

H/t Vermont Loon Watch

unity