Not Satire | Revenge for Global Warming Causes Fish to Attack People

Revenge for Global Warming Causes Fish to Attack People, The Point (Front Page Magazine, Daniel Greenfield, October 17, 2017

(What nonsense. The fish aren’t seeking revenge for global warming. They are outraged that we failed to elect Hillary Clinton, the fishiest presidential candidate evah. — DM)

 

I have a standing link ban on the Times of Israel for its lefty anti-Israel garbage, but I’m making an exception because this is just too stupid.

Up and down the Israeli coast and even in the Sea of Galilee, swimmers are reporting being nibbled on, often painfully.

The main culprits in the Mediterranean, the experts say, are Diplodus sargus fish, also known as sargo or white seabream, usually about 10 to 15 centimeters (four to six inches) long, which are native to the Sea. (The species can reach up to 40 centimeters long, but the larger fish tend to stay in deeper waters and avoid humans.) The fish biting in the Sea of Galilee, meanwhile, are cichlids, also called St. Peter’s fish, and other tilapias.

Fish bites man means it’s… Global Warming. Of course if fish didn’t bite people, it would also be blamed on Global Warming. And if paint dries, it’s due to Global Warming.

Stressing that no thorough research has been carried out to check if there is an actual rise, Yair said any verifiable increase in biting could be tied to several factors, including but not limited to climate change.

He posited that increases in average temperature and the warming of the sea may be to blame, as well as changes in the habitats of the fish, which disturb them and possibly make them more aggressive.

Posited. No research has been carried out. But, hey it’s good enough for the media. Because this is #science. Also the fish are probably driven by revenge.

Not entirely joking, Yair said cockroaches, fishes, beetles, and even germs are seeking “revenge” on humans for wreaking havoc on the environment.

“But seriously,” he warned, “if we want to maintain tolerable environmental conditions, we need to stop altering the planet.”

That’s right. If we don’t all move to caves and out of our houses, the fish will come for us.

But has there been an actual increase in biting fish?

The incidence of biting seems to be escalating, with news reports and social media posts on the rise in the past year. TripAdvisor has had posts documenting tourists being bitten in 2015 and 2016.

That’s some solid research right there. And now for a note of sanity.

This is not a new story,” said Dr. Menachem Goren, a professor and principal research associate in the Department of Zoology at Tel Aviv University, who noted that the sargo fish are ancient inhabitants of the Mediterranean. “[The fish] are seeking food. When they see our feet, they bite. They consider it plankton,” said Goren. “People shouldn’t take it too seriously.”

So has FishApocalypse 2017 been postponed? Will the fish, seeking revenge for coal mining, learn to fly and start attacking us on land? Al Gore’s new movie may answer the question.

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One Comment on “Not Satire | Revenge for Global Warming Causes Fish to Attack People”

  1. Tom Carter Says:

    Note that the author didn’t describe the bitten swimmers, especially by the all-important descriptor of political beliefs. I would guess that the fist are biting lefty swimmers because their skin, less frequently washed than that of rational humans, gives off a tasty smell.


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