WarSclerotic

If elected, Hillary plans to install ‘climate situation room’ in the White House, Watts Up With That, Anthony Watts , May 10, 2016

From the “pandering to your base” department and Climate Nexus:

Clinton’s Climate and Energy Plans: Hillary Clinton plans to focus on smaller legislative actions and use executive action on climate and energy issues if elected, her campaign chairman John Podesta said at a conference. Clinton also intends to install a Roosevelt Map Room-inspired situation room just for climate change. Analysis of her climate strategy reveals that Clinton intends to reduce greenhouse gas emissions up to 30 percent below 2005 level by 2025 and support fossil fuel workers through the clean energy transition. She ultimately would lay the groundwork for achieving 80 percent cuts below 2005 by 2050, strengthening President Obama’s current climate pledges.

Right, I can just see all those real-time monitors on the wall now. Here’s what it will be like the first day of operation:

Hillary: “I don’t get it, nothing seems to be changing on any of these screens!”

Technician: “Um, madam president, climate change doesn’t happen instantly.”

Hillary: “What are you talking about!? Al Gore and Bill McKibben both told me that that can see it happening right NOW!”

Technician: “Er, madam president, the standard baseline for measuring climate is 30 years. Changes don’t happen instantly. Weather changes on the short term, not climate.”

Hillary: ” Don’t give me that crap! The best scientific minds, Mike Mann and James Hansen, and Al Gore all told me I could see it happening! My friend, Senator Debbie Stabenow, says she can feel it when she’s flying! Your systems just aren’t working!”

Technician: “Madam president, as you ordered, we have all the climate change metrics on display, GISS, HadCRUT, BEST, NOAA, NSIDC, we have all the IPCC models on display, including RCP 8.5, plus Al Gore’s TRIANA satellite, looking straight at Earth and giving a live feed.These all monitor the climate of Earth.”

Hillary: “Well if your fancy named systems are so good, why can’t I see the climate changing NOW!? Gore told me I could watch it happening from space! All this money, and for what? I can’t see anything happening!”

Technician: “Madam president, as I tried to explain earlier, climate change is slow, on periods of 30 years, and….”

Hillary: “DON’T YOU LECTURE ME ABOUT WHAT I ALREADY KNOW!!!! Al Gore says I will be able to see it! Bill McKibben says I will be able to see it. Even that little weasel Joe Romm says I’ll be able to see it! Do you think you are smarter than these people!?”

Technician: [long pause] “um, …”

Hillary: “I’ve watched real time feeds all over the planet! I’ve watched people being taken out in hellholes you can’t even imagine! And you can’t do this simple thing?”

Technician: [longer pause] “well, as I …”

Hillary: “NEVER MIND! [dials cell phone] Podesta? I need my own server again! These idiots setup all these screens to show climate change and nothing is happening! What!? No I don’t care about timelines! Make it happen!!!!”

Hillary: [mumbles to herself] “I’m surrounded by idiots…”

This entry was posted on May 10, 2016 at 4:57 PM and is filed under Climate change, Hillary Clinton. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

Tags: Climate Change